You brought a birthday cake for my birthday to my birthday party to my birthday a birthday cake
"You’re so shy, you should open up more!"
jESUS H FUCK
fun prank: replace your kid’s weed with opposite weed so when they smoke it it makes them go to business school and get a degree in lawyer
Ah yes a degree in lawyer.
i’ve compiled a list of the things i say most during school
- wait what
- what do we do
- i have to pee
- when does this class end
- whens lunch
new bra from victoria secret! :)
A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:
I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.
It has a little lettuce bow.
I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god
Can the science side of tumblr explain why my ass itch
wash your fucking ass
Wash your attitude